Tue
27
Oct

What’s giving you STRESS?

7:00 am

Where I am

Just thought I’d share while I’m waiting for Maury to come home and for Lara to drop off the kids. We’re babysitting again. Love the little ones but it’s totally disruptive to our routine. She drops them off with bags of snacks, toys, books to read and a change of clothing in case we decide to take them somewhere. My mother would be appalled if we showed up to visit her with drool or stains on their clothes. Maury wouldn’t notice and I don’t care, but she is a perfectionist, especially about appearance. Is your mother?

Sandwich generation

Being trapped between my mother and my kids and then their kids gives me stress. I love my family but they make demands, have expectations, render judgements. Everyone has their needs. Mine are hardly ever met. My stress therapy group says I need to enhance my joy through meditation or yoga. Those are great if you can sit still or consent to being twisted into a pretzel for an hour. I don’t have the time. I’ve tried visualizing a more peaceful me but when I close my eyes I see my wild hair, my over-filled tote and a frantic look in my eyes.

Wrestling with life’s chores

I think families, jobs, errands, to-do lists and remembering and buying people birthday cards all give us stress. I could use a clone to impersonate me, forge my signature and attend my stress group today. Then I could be relaxed. What’s giving you stress?



11 Responses to “What’s giving you STRESS?”

  1. Carra Riley Says:

    Jean,
    How did we bring up our kids without all the help from our mothers?…. Today’s girls can’t even go to the grocery story with 2 kids by themselves! Seems like they need to tell us how to be a grand parents and what to do if something goes wrong.. gee they are a product of our parenting and I think they forget about that!
    As far as the to do list.. I love my new iphone, I can write everything down because I know I won’t remember it if I don’t! Helps relieve the stress… just like yoga.. I think I will take some deep breaths and go off to namaste.. I love my senior yoga class! We just do the stretches!

  2. Skip Says:

    Perhaps you’ve got it right. We generate stress by trying to relieve stress so we are running in ever smaller circles. You know where you wind up doing that…….

  3. Angela Damien Says:

    Jean,
    A friend told me about this place and I am glad I came to visit! Let me tell you what is bugging me today. Stress? mmmmm? We need to go into town and we live about 30 minutes from any big stores. We are going to a movie at 1:30 and have to do a few errands. In a perfect world I just want to know what time I should be ready to get in the car…. instead I have to do the math figuring out all the time frames between driving and the errands and getting to the movie on time… wouldn’t it be great if all I had to do was show up at the car instead of playing it all out myself… Some day maybe, there is always hope! lol

  4. Yo, Yenta! Says:

    I practice a little known method of Jewish Zen Buddhist self-forgiveness, which consists of saying “So you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning/groceries for dinner/children – but NO ONE DIED” three times, then making yourself a cocktail and taking a bath.

    My own mother taught this to me and it works EVERY TIME.

  5. Shae Says:

    Jean,
    You poor thing! Sounds like the lists, jobs, chores, responsibilities and annoyances are taking over! I can totally relate. Some days I even forget to go to the grocery store, and when it’s finally dinner time there’s no food to cook. Time is something that we just don’t have nearly enough of. But I have to agree with your stress group about the yoga. I LOVE yoga. I don’t always have time to take the classes at my gym- So I got a yoga video game to do at home when I find a few spare seconds. That’s all it takes sometimes. Anyway! There are days (or weeks, or months) that nothing helps organize the overwhelming stress. When you have 27 things to do and only enough hours left to finish 4 of them- it makes for a rough day.
    As far as the mom thing… Kudos to you for being the babysitter! I know a lot of moms with young kids who have parents that don’t want to babysit, or are perfectionists that don’t understand stained clothes or busy days- and it stresses them out a ton.
    I guess to answer your question, life stresses me out! There’s always something that needs to be taken care of. EVERY SINGLE day. And at the end of every day, you’re hardly ever done. That’s life!

  6. susan brooks Says:

    Stress has become a constant in my life. I’m stuck in the ‘do good’ routine, trying to be all things to all people: my kids, my grandkids, my employees, my customers, my friends, my peripheral family. Everyone wants more of me, and I’m running out of time. Every hour has a name on it, even when I’m sleeping! Piles of projects call my name, each a screaming priority. So, why am I taking this time to write you, when I’ve got so much else to do? Ay yi yi! Well, at least I can say: my life isn’t boring!!!!

  7. Roz Says:

    Been practicing Raja Yoga Meditaiton for 21 years and just came home from trip #19 to Mt. Abu,India. Our meditations consist of focusing on uplifting, positive, peaceful and loving thoughts. A friend just put together this YouTube–check it out–its title is Inner Treasures. That’s how we handle stress–we get in touch with the treasures within–that’s what spirituality is.,,,discovering the spirit within.

    YouTube – INNER TREASURES

    Before sleeping, we mentally go over the day and see our mistakes, negative thoughts, etc. and “give the burden” to God. We aim to sleep with a clean, clear heart. That’s the best stress block known to man.

  8. Jean Rubin Says:

    Excellent suggestion! Glee’s a yoga teacher and enlightened. I’ll talk to her.

  9. Heather Chavez Says:

    My mother-in-law gives me stress. She is very much Ray Ramano’s Mom on “Everybody Loves Raymond”. I wasn’t aware of this until I had a few people tell me that was who she reminded them. Whenever she visits, I am constantly told how my home is so small, I don’t keep as tidy of a house as “so and so” (even though I am pretty much a neat freak), my son isn’t being raised correctly and even my cooking utensils aren’t up to snuff for her. The latest visit included her mother (who is my surrogate grandmother and whom I absolutely adore). It was grandma’s birthday. My husband and I had decided to have a family barbecue (hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad, etc) complete with a cake to celebrate. However, within a day, mother-in-law invited 10 more people (in addition to the family that was already coming) and completely changed the menu to a sit down dinner where I ended up cooking everything while being told how to do it from the dining room table. When we went to the grocery store to pick up all necessary items, my mother-in-law managed to wander off when it came time to pay for everything. Luckily, hubby called her on it (they had previously agreed that she would help since she was inviting so many more people). She did pay for part of the food. Thanks for letting me relive THAT joy. (LOL)

    To de-stress? Look forward to the fact that mother-in-law lives over 1500 miles away so I don’t have to worry about frequent visits such as this. (I have LOTS of mother-in-law stories). I think you’ve just inspired me to write some of my mother-in-law horror myself. Maybe exorcise those demons-ah!

  10. gloria robinson Says:

    I’ve just learned that schpilkes are contagious…Jean Rubin has passed hers on to me.
    Gloria Robinson

  11. Indoor Grills Says:

    i learned all my yoga skills just by watching yoga videos online and just immitating what they do *,,

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