Scottsdale is Stylish

If I’m going some place with Glee she tells me to dress “Scottsdale“. Now I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I think I’m supposed to overdress and leave my Birkenstocks at home. Of course I always carry my tote bag loaded with everything from binkies to a paring knife I keep forgetting to return to Lara.  The bag’s black so I think it matches everything. Glee says a bag should co-ordinate with our shoes. I think it’s a miracle if I get out of the house. The only Fashion Police I know are my mother and the elderly ladies in her assisted living facility.

This last week was Scottsdale Fashion Week. Glee and April took me to the art-t0-wear fashion show. I realized they probably  figured I’d fit in with that crowd when I saw the models wearing yellow and black make-up, strutting hand-painted clothing that looked like my little granddaughter’s scribbles and  mile-high shoes . I couldn’t envision myself in the peacock feather headdress either but some of the clothing from the local waterfront art galleries was excellent. Waterfront, you say? Yes, here in the desert we can take a drainage canal and call it waterfront property, build condos and charge outrageous prices because it’s located in Scottsdale! Anyway, there were a lot of women who attended with edgyhaircuts, handbags with initials scrawled across them and pooched lips.

Stress from Too Many Men 

Now I can barely handle Maury so it seems incredible the most notorious woman in China know as “The Godmother” had sixteen lovers. Of course there are a few Scottsdale Babes who do have bragging rights to a stable of men too. The Godmother’s been convicted of running 10 gambling dens, strong-arming police officers and bribing government officials. She sounds like someone who deserves 18 years in prison but then I read she had a stable of 16 young men for her pleasure. I could not make this up. Can you imagine how stressed your  favorite  furry pet would be if you had to entertain so many men? Do you pick like you would if you had a garaghe of great cars? “I’ll drive the Mercedes and the Jaguar today.” Or do you rank according to size? They said the testimony was lurid. I wish I could have heard that.

Clowns and Cellphones

Now I’m a multitasker so I’m always doing something else while I’m on the phone. Maury left me an article on my placemat which is subtle way of saying, “Look at this. Here’s the evidence.” That means he’s ready to take me on in a heated discussion about doing too much. Of course women do to much. That’s because men hardly do anything! Scientific studies have been done that prove 75 percent of people talking on a cell phone do not see a unicycling clown even if he has yellow hair and a big red nose. Their conversations are that distracting.

Now there are times when I’m discussing fertility issues with my daughter-in-law or chiding my son about getting a job or telling my mother to turn off Wolf Blitzer because he will always be in a situation while I unload the dishwasher, throw in a load of laundry or take  a handful of vitamins that Glee insists will keep me young. I probably wouldn’t notice a unicycling clown if he was riding down the street, but trust me, I’d observe  someone  having a bad hair day.



3 Responses to “Scottsdale Style, Stress from 16 Lovers and a Clown”

  1. Angela Damien Says:

    So where do my old LV’s fit in? Are they out in Scottsdale? You would think for a $1,500 bag they would be good forever.. mmmm You know I still have a Gucci made of fabric… guess that is REALLY out of the question. What’s a girl to do???? Spend in Scottsdale I guess #$%^*? Too much stress!

  2. Jean Rubin Says:

    No worries. Quality is always in style. Expand your closet and save everything like my mother.

  3. Verna Heggan Says:

    thanks for the great info

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