Tomatoes in Scottsdale

The Borgata in Scottsdale, an open-air shopping center modeled after the Italian village of San Gimignano, features turrets, towers and tomatoes. Glee says we should all be eating organic like Oprah. I usually point out to her that Oprah has a chef to shop and chop for her. I have Maury, an ADD husband who doesn’t cook and wouldn’t be able to identify a Roma from a heritage. Anyway, on Fridays from now until the Spring our lovely European emporium will feature a farmer’s market with tomatoes, squash, olives and honey from local growers. We definitely support anyone who thinks they can grow food in the desert! I think I’ll mosey over there this week in my Birkenstocks, the best shoes for cobblestones, and watch some of the Scottsdale babes balance on their Jimmy Choos.

Falling Off Your Pole

In case you didn’t know, many clubs in Scottsdale have installed poles. Yes, that kind of pole. It seems some women want to show off their expertise after taking “exercise” classes that give them the experience of their first pole dance. Now my friend April already moves like a stripper so she’s not a candidate. It seems her neighbor’s daughter, and let me tell you, April knows everything about everybody in her Scottsdale neighborhood, fell off her pole. She’s a well-developed young woman who shimmied ten feet to the top with the encouragement of her friends and four Cosmos, only to have a piece of the ceiling break away causing her to land on the floor. She wasn’t seriously injured but April says she’s stressed in Scottsdale. Falling off her pole has left her with a sore shoulder, a bruised ego and laughing friends.

Scottsdale Cuisine and Edible Spa Treatments

Now I’m not totally unsophisticated about fine dining, but there are items on menus nowadays I can’t identify. The new restaurant at the Boulders Spa serves sunchoke soup, forbidden rice, garbanzo pancakes, Meyer lemon chervil gremolata, tea-soaked salmon, ancho-dusted sirloin and lemon-thyme sorbert. What happened to a sandwich and a salad? Worse, Glee says the new trend for spa treatments includes chocolate foot massages, caviar facials and milk-and-honey massages. Maury and my dog, Amber, would want want to lick me all over if I tried any of those.

5 Responses to “Posh Produce, Poles and Scottsdale Cuisine”

  1. Angela Damien Says:

    Enough is enough already.. I like to meet my friends at Chompie’s N.Y. Style Delicatessen, Restaurant, Gourmet Bakery …My favorite is the chopped liver or ruben sandwhich… to me.. best place to party in Scottsdale.. and there is NO Pole BTW come on.. enough is enough… the fall of your friends daughter is a “wake up” call.. she should NOT be pole dancing.. she deserves to be “Stressed in Scottsdale.” Sometimes guilt is good!

  2. Jean Rubin Says:

    You and Maury will love each other. He’s a big deli fan and ignores the cholesterol warnings about chopped liver. Perhaps someone will invent a dancing pole with training wheels.

  3. richard wizardry Says:

    I built a swinging fire shooting stripper pole and it caused one of my neighbors to almost fall out of his seat in anger when I set it up and another to move because of a 12′ sculpture with flaming body parts between his legs. The first amendment rocks.
    My art can make you food, entertain and let people either really express themselves or fall down trying.
    So for you uptight Scottsdalians good art should be humorous, make you think and offend small minded assholes, so are you enlightened or not? I know the people in HOA’s are not enlightened or half the plastic stuck up people of the lily white city.

  4. Jean Rubin Says:

    Agree about art being humorous. My friend, Glee, makes erotic art, too.
    Not sure we can generalize about people’s mindset in any one city. However, I am enjoying poking fun at a popular tourist destination!

  5. Angela Damien Says:

    Sounds like you are “stressed in Scottsdale”… Look at it this way.. Jean is giving us a venue to discuss the issues in the neighborhood…. knowing there is a problem is the 1st step in a 12 step program… bringing it to the surface to be destroyed! Let’s play nice in the sand box!

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