Only in Scottsdale

Only in our fair city will you find society photos of two beautiful blonds who still have smile lines at an event called “Botox and Baubles.” A local med spa raised funds for charity and featured the lovelies where I’m sure the raffle tickets earned a prize of a fresh vial of the injectable. Botox is big business in Scottsdale so the hint that it might create a tax sent my friends, April and Glee, apopleptic. That idea is moot now because they’re going to pick on tanning salons instead but there is a price war going on in spas all over the city. One med spa has a sign advertising “Walk-in Botox $10″ and others online list a vial at $3! For the price of a coffee you can return to work with a frozen face. You can even compare prices all over the U.S.!

Now that fifty is the new forty cougars are creating lots of traffic for the procedure. Glee explains, “I’m vibrant, smart, independent and well-traveled. Why shouldn’t I have a youthful man who’s fit and not intimidated by success? Part of that means I have to look young.” I agree with her but I don’t want her to look foolish either.

Glee and April dragged me to a Lip Reading spa event in Scottsdale  under the guise that it would reveal hidden parts of my personality. Of course I thought it had to do with not hearing well and reading mouth movements instead of getting a hearing aid. It turned out to be a Botox Party with entertainment. A serious looking woman with  bangs had us kiss a card three times and then she analyzed it. Now I still read my horoscope every morning even though Maury says astrology is junk science. Even though I had strong skeptical doubts about the veracity of the information I listened to what she had to say about our puckers.

First of all, I don’t know how any information could be accurate even if it really does reveal your inner personality.  April and Glee haven’t seen the original shape of their lips for years. They’ve been collagened, peeled and injected with unknown substances so many times I forget what they looked like originally. Except when I pull out old photos when our kids were in pre-school. Our expert told April her Cupid’s Bow means that she’s a good negotiator. I would say that’s accurate because she’s married to a personal injury attorney and has probably earned a law degree just living with him. She told Glee her lip imprint meant she had good communication skills and high energy.

Does stress show on my lips? What would she say about me? That my lips are on the large side so I’m a big communicator (which means I’m fresh and outspoken) and my imprint showed white lines (because I haven’t been enhanced) which mean they’re from stress because I have gerbil wheels spinning in my head. I knew that.

5 Responses to “Botox Babes, Lip Readings and Cougar Scoop”

  1. Elisabeth Dehaney Says:

    ur article on today — liked it.. bookmarked it , will be back to check out some more later .. nice article ..

  2. Jean Rubin Says:

    Yes, come back! I have more things to make fun of!

  3. Dianna Perlman Says:

    Heya i got to your site by mistake when i was searching bing for something off topic here but i do have say your site is really helpful, like the theme and the content on here…so thanks for me procrastinating from my previous task, lol

  4. Jean Rubin Says:

    Some of the best things happen “on accident” as I hear kids say. of course they also say “funner” which is nails on a blackboard to me!

  5. Rafael Juras Says:

    Discomfort from botox injections is not serious. It is highly unlikely that anyone would develop any significant side effects. Moderate bruising is usually as bad as they get.

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