Guns, Men and Computers

7:00 am

The Wild Wacky West

I believe in the Second Amendment that we all have the right to bear arms. But without a concealed weapon permit? In a popular restaurant or bar when it’s loaded? With cougars stalking the night? That’s right! Welcome to new legislation parading through our state government and a governor who thinks it’s a good idea! So not only are we at the bottom of educational rankings, we’re near the top for having the fewest restrictions against firearms. In five years we could have the most heavily-armed, least educated population in the United States. That could give me major stress.

I’m doing my best to get a clear picture of this. We’re setting it up so criminals can buy guns unimpinged by silly laws that want to keep guns out of their hands. That means if an altercation starts you won’t know if the person next to you might pull out a weapon and shoot you. What fun! I can’t wait to take my paranoid mother out for a holiday occasion and have her ask me, “Jean, that man has a gun on his hip. Is he going to hold-up the restaurant? Watch my purse.” or “We never had criminals advertising in Florida.” Or “I absolutely won’t tolerate a man sitting next to me with a weapon. Tell him to put it away right now!”¬† I know the Scottsdale Babes like the idea of women totin’ but I bet they’ll have some objections to guns as the newest fashion accessory when someone gets hurt fighting over the Nordstrom half-off sale.

Are There Single Cool Men Out There Over Fifty?

I accompanied Glee to a networking event. She wanted to go because she’s always promoting one of her ventures: yoga, coaching or pregnancy belly casts. She did the latter for Lara who has one hanging in her living room sprayed orange and gold. Do not even think about what my mother had to say about it! Even though Glee has Rob as her new eye candy, she’s looking around for something better. Rob is young and Glee has decided to scan the horizon for a more appropriately aged guy.

We met realtors, mortgage brokers and technology marketing people. A smart-looking guy with an electrified hairdo said he installs “cookies” in computers after following what websites¬† people check out. I told him I’m of the generation that remembers when “cookies” were something you put in your bra to create cleavage. He looked embarrassed.

Anyway, Glee approached a few guys with some silver in their hair and checked back in with me. “They’re all married,” she lamented. The other ones in my age-range have pot-bellies and style issues. I told her she could get them on a fitness regime and change their wardrobe. “I can handle the thinning hair because they can shave their head and look cool but eyeglass shopping to cure a nerd is a major project.”

“Hey, wait a minute. The guy could be a good, sweet, smart person inside. You can’t be that shallow,” I told her.

She said, “I just don’t have time for a major make-over. All my bio-identical hormones could wear off and my skin could re-sag by the time I finish. Any unattached fit guy in his 50s can have his pick of women or he has a deficiency and no one wants him.” So much for the 50+ dating scene.

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