Virgins and Lotion in the Pants

7:00 am

Newspapers as a Source of Entertainment

I read the paper every day so that when my stress level rises I have a basis for comparison. It’s important to keep a sense of humor if you have annoying children, a demanding mother, a forgetful husband and friends with agendas. It is in that vein that I noticed a few I-do-not-believe-I-am-reading-this articles.

First, a nineteen-year-old in New Zealand is auctioning off her virginity to raise college tuition. Considering that prostitution is legal in that country and most of it is populated by sheep, this is still an unusual item for speculation. It seems “Unigirl” decided it was better than working and received 1200 responses from the 30,000 men who viewed the ad. So does that mean men are looking for virgins because a woman without experience won’t notice if they’re inexperienced, too, or that there’s a romantic notion still attached to the idea?

I don’t know the answer to that question. My mother saw the article and called me as I was rushing out the door. “Jean, what kind of a girl would do such a thing? In my day this was unheard of. You could barely get a girl to give it away let alone sell it.” I explained it wasn’t a good idea to be judgmental. Besides, she wanted the money for college. “An education’s a lifelong investment. No one’s that concerned with virginity anymore other than the advocates of abstinence only as a means of birth control.”

“Jean, just don’t let me hear of you doing such a thing,” she said and hung up on me.

Lotion in the Pants

Besides the fact the ditty “Pants on the Ground” gives me stress, I am amazed a man in Massachusetts went into a Bath and Body Works in a mall and left with 75 bottles of lotion in his pants. Never mind the “why. We can all use lotion for something. The question is where were the employees while he was shoplifting with string tied around the ankles of his pants so the glass bottles wouldn’t fall out? And, the most shocking part? Not the fact that it totaled more than $787. The guy is a 22-year-counter-terrorism veteran who blamed his behavior on his wife’s marijuana-laced meatballs! I cannot make this stuff up. Maybe if I did it would relieve my stress.

4 Responses to “Virgins and Lotion in the Pants”

  1. Sandra George Says:

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  2. Jean Rubin Says:

    Thanks for your comment. I sometimes have difficulty understanding people’s behavior. Like the guy with the lotion in his pants. But, then again, I do laugh inappropriately at times. Or when my mother reminds me that I haven’t visited her in 24 hours!

  3. Evelin Ferkel Says:

    very good, thank youu

  4. Jean Rubin Says:

    Hey, it’s all about making you smile. And I cannot make up the absurdities in our strange world.

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