Desperate for Sponsors

The Phoenix Open, a much-anticipated event in the Land of Golf Courses and Fake Lakes, has had various sponsors in years past. But the rowdy crowd who drink too much and sometimes throw debris at golfers they don’t like, has a new sponsor: Waste Management. Which is a nice way of saying gar-bage. “The greatest show on grass” has found a green sponsor! And they’ll haul away everything 538,356 fans leave behind which includes a lot of beer receptacles. In its favor WM has bioreactor landfills which Maury gets excited about because they accelerate decomposition.

The Coors Light Birds Nest party tent features bands, rock ‘n roll and a dress code that includes mini-dresses and plaid pants. It’s a place to be seen, especially if you spring for the VIP tickets for $175. That gets you up on a platform without having to push your way to the front. You can also reserve a lavish Birds Nest cabana for a mere $20,000. Don’t even think about what’s going on in there now that the real pro-golfer scoop has been in the news for months.

Of course Glee and her date, Rob are going as well as April and Steve. None of them play golf but they’ll go anywhere for a great party. I understand this is one of the best. You can mix and mingle with sports stars, movie stars and rap stars. Dancing never ends as the revolving stage turns everyone’s heads. Finally, there’s more bars, a shuttle to the W Hotel, a “tomato man” who sticks his face through a cut-out so you can throw tomatoes and a hookah lounge. You won’t be bored for a minute and you might forget it’s a 75 year-old golf tournament sponsored by Waste Management.

Barefoot Burglars, Reebok Theft and Naked Men on the Hood

As an authority on the Rock Burglar who terrorized Scottsdale and Paradise Valley homes for fifteen years I read with fascination that Seattle has a Barefoot Burglar. After he steals, and he’s now moved up to small airplanes, he leaves behind an outline of his feet. He obviously doesn’t have my mother reminding him he’ll get ringworm and worse if he doesn’t put on shoes.

And speaking of something to cover your feet, Reebok, manufacturer of popular sneakers, has had a huge theft. Like 25 million dollars theft. Paul Fireman, the founder, says his accountant stole all that money from him. Where? Florida, of course. And what did my news-junkie mother have to say about that? “Jean, keep your money in an old purse in the closet and don’t trust anyone.” My question is: How long would it take you to notice ONE million dollars was missing?

And, finally, a 57-year-old man in Pennsylvania wearing only his underwear in frigid temperatures was found riding on the hood of his 28-year old girlfriend’s car in the middle of a quarrel. I cannot make this up. Maybe he should look for a more age-appropriate girlfriend.

2 Responses to “Golf Sponsored by Garbage and the Most Bizarre News”

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    So glad you like it! It releases stress to blog. Go for Word Press. I like it a lot. Have to run. Maury just brought his golf clubs inside to clean.

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