Stress Relief, Scottsdale Style

Why do baby boomers flock to the spa? Stress relief, of course! In this time of taxes, 24-hour news cycles, wars, poverty and congressional gridlock, it makes sense to have your body pushed, pummeled and stroked. You can even leave a few shades darker because some have tanning beds that measure a person’s UV light sensitivity to adjust the output of rays. I have about as much interest in that as a Brazilian wax. My mother says, “Jean, spend more time on yourself. And don’t forget to pick up my prescriptions, take me to the podiatrist and come over to look for my silver stacked heels.”

Glee and April love the spa. They hoodwinked me for a style intervention after an explicit exercise class at one of Scottsdale‘s finest spas. It involved the suggestive “Bad Kitty” that involved rolling around on the floor. If I can get down there again, Maury would be impressed. I’d also have a lot of stress. They insisted on treating me to a reflexology/facial with a lavender loofah scrub. I don’t know what they were doing to me but I blended into mush. I didn’t learn until later that they were softening me up for  a make-over. I don’t know what’s wrong with wearing two fuzzy bunches on either side of my head. Why can’t Princess Leia shop for lettuce wraps?

Some of the spas have specials where you sign up for a membership fee which obligates you to go every month. Not that it’s  a bad thing. But what I want to know how corporations justify  a day of pampering as Team Building.  Even church groups are using this as an activity. And this connects to a religious experience  how?

At any rate, when I came home after the prickly pear sugar scrub with jojoba body butter rub, Amber, our discerning golden retriever, licked my legs raw. Maury wanted to know if he could nibble my elbow.

Puppets with Cleavage

In Colorado Springs, a city more conservative than Scottsdale which allows for funny business in all manners and forms, an advertising agency banned posters at bus shelters because “Avenue Q”, a touring production of the Broadway show, had a fuzzy pink puppet with cleavage. Personally, I thought of April in her angora V-neck sweater. With all that’s happening in the world, who would take the time to pick on a puppet? The more I think about it the more stress I’m getting? Puppets? On a poster? These people need to turn off Glenn Beck and find a sand box. I cannot make this up.

7 Responses to “Spas in Scottsdale and Puppet Cleavage”

  1. Skip Says:

    Time was when a spa meant an exclusive European hideaway where very rich people were indulged by entrepreneurial types anxious to separate them from their money. As with all things affected by egalitarianism, the principles remain the same but the stakes have been lowered in favor of volume.

  2. Skip Says:

    Furry pink cleavage?!! Oh my, you’ve gotten me where it matters.

  3. Anne Nayer Says:

    Hi Jean – Saw your plea for feed-back on SheWrites (just joined and am still getting all notifications of EVERYTHING).
    I took you up on your request and read the blog. It’s funny but I like rolling around the floor and love spas (don’t live in Scottsdale and haven’t been to one in a while so I bet I’d have lots of funny stories too) – maybe a little cynical for my taste but don’t want to judge without reading more of your blogroll – and maybe I’m not your perfect audience even though demographically I fit perfectly. Take me to the spa, pound me, coat me in goop (no tanning beds please) and a makeover might be fun as long as I get veto power. Sorry if this isn’t trenchant and super helpful but I’m commenting.

    I especially love the comment from your mother (take care of yourself AND pick up my presecriptions).


  4. Jean Rubin Says:

    Thanks so much! Like it that you’re a coach in paradise. Or creating paradise. Or you live somewhere that doesn’t get to 115 degrees outside. Keep doing your good work and bringing people to their state of grace, Sorry I’m a little snarky. It just pops out. At the worst times. But it helps me relieve stress and keep my small piece of sanity!

  5. Jean Rubin Says:

    Anne, you’re awesome! Love my She Writes friends. Yes, the spa relieves everything! Except at the end when you find your apricot tea tree oil hibiscus loofah costs $225. Then there’s stress!

  6. Marion Says:

    These people do need to turn off Glenn Beck and find a sandbox. You are so right.

  7. Sonia Asato Says:

    This is certainly the most wonderful of ways and I really agree with this. I have beengoing through so many new things out here that enable me to bring to the forefront several things. Yours truly for all the help that you hve rendered via your blogs.

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