Doctor’s Ad Promotes Wife

Listen, I’m a Scottsdale resident so I see lots of unusual sights here but sometimes even I am surprised at the level of self-promotion. In multiple full page ads in free magazines you can pick up at coffee places, a local OB/GYN physician displays an almost full length picture of a woman in a gray fitted sweater dress hugging a chihuahua, her spiky hair a halo around her head. She also sports a huge diamond ring and red nails.

It turns out after you read the copy you learn that the model is his wife and because of  the doctor’s brilliant discovery of bioidentical hormone therapies (BHRT), Carolann now sleeps better, has regained previous energy levels and has  “lost the stubborn pounds she’s packed on.” You can too if you pay a lot of money and take pellets. If it works. Glee says it’s wonderful but she’s enthused about everything. She also shares personal information that should be kept private. In detail.

The plant-derived hormones are delivered with an “effective pellet delivery system.” Okay, folks, I’m a woman of a certain age and not once has my Maury suggested that I take pellets like a pet shop parakeet. What’s happened to aging gracefully?

Why Car Pollution Makes Rain

When it rains and Maury has a golf game planned he stands looking out our back door, putter in hand. Especially if it’s a weekend. It’s been consistently raining every week end. Why? Because we drive too much! That’s right! A paper by two Arizona State University researchers presented to the American Meteorological Society (I can’t imagine an entire group talking about the weather for  days. Maybe I should send my mother, the original weather lady. “Jean, I can feel the dampness in my bones. Take an umbrella.”) says pollution builds up during the week because the particulates suppress the rain. With less traffic on the weekends the tiny particles cause more rain. You can create a lot of stress thinking about rain: will it rain? when? for how long?

If you live in Arizona where there’s an average of seven inches of rain a year, people talk about the rain for days. Strangers in stores ask you: “Didja see the rain? Where were you?” I can’t even discuss how badly people drive here if the road has a few wet spots. “It’s raining! Don’t leave your house!”

So the fact that two scientists have added to the craziness amuses me. I make all kinds of illogical assumptions, but I never would have made a connection between environmental vehicle pollution and winter-rain patterns. Thursday is the day of the week it rains the least. So brides, you listening? Schedule for a Thursday. And, Maury, change your day off to Thursday so you don’t hang around the house on a Saturday and get cranky. Or I’ll send you to that HRT doc with the pellets.

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