What’s Funny about Sweat?

It’s National Humor month. That means no one can get mad at me for making fun of them including Maury and my friends. Although I could tell Glee was a bit miffed when I teased her about her latest “procedure.” Now I’m all for any enhancements women want to do to make themselves look or feel better. Goodness knows I could use some improving myself. But botox in your armpits? So you don’t sweat ever?

Glee said, “That way when I’m with Rob I always look cool and collected.” “But Glee, sweating is healthy. It rids the body of toxins. It has to come out someplace.” “I’d rather the leakage pools between my cleavage where I keep a hankie and mad money.” “But didn’t it hurt to have an injection in your armpit?” “Not if you’ve had needles in your face!”

My friends make me laugh. I can poke them about their princess-ways and they’re good-natured but authorities say the best thing is to make fun of yourself. I do a lot of that. Especially since I’m trapped between doctor’s wife and former aging hippie caring for a cranky mother and dealing with self-absorbed children. “Mom, how are you feeling? Can you babysit?”

I try not to take myself too seriously or anything else either. Which gets me into a lot of trouble. Dr. Meyer Freidman, the man who invented Type A behavior, said we can protect our heart if we take a perspective of how “unimportant we are in the planetary scheme of things.”

If you need a little funny entertainment check out a site that has categories from blondes to Yo Mama to lawyers (Maury’s favorite group to poke fun at, especially if it involves personal injury attorneys.) Personally, I intend to keep laughing no matter what. Even when I’m stressed in Scottsdale.

Chemical Stress

Many things stress me out and then I laugh. Like my daughter-in-law downloading an app on her iPhone to help with contractions in case she gets pregnant and goes into labor. Breathe. Push. Push again. All as text messages.  Her friends have apps for breast-feeding allowing technology to invade their most private moments. But what’s gripping me now is the recent report that a chemical found in our soaps, cosmetics, water and toothpastes is an endocrine disruptor. That means  it can alter growth and development.

I swear, if Maury develops bigger boobies than mine and I grow hair on my chest, I’ll have a few things to say about that. Now I’m stressed with paranoia about the home products our family uses. Even the FDA says they have “valid concerns” about what we’re using to clean our bathrooms and our mouths. April’s been “organic” for years and Glee turns everything “green.” I think I’d better call her and see if she can pull herself away from charitable events and offer some good advice.  I have some environmentally sensitive products I’ve been using but what if…There’s no doubt we need to clean up our environment! Wait ’til I tell Maury his deoderant is toxic. That’ll kill his golf game with his buddies.

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