Only in Scottsdale

I am always amazed at the vanity in one of America’s “Most Liveable Cities.” I cannot make this up! I saw that one of my favorite authors who recently won a First Prize award for her satire about Scottsdale was having a book signing…at a cupcake store. Now I know it must be tough to sell books but a cupcake store? Yes, in Europe businesses do combine resources so you might stumble into a bistro/clothing/perfume emporium but books and cupcakes? Okay. Imagine my surprise when I wandered in to the tasty treats shop and not only was the author sitting beside her display of novels but there was also a table of skin care products and a reclining chair at the next table.

Now I should mention I had my mother with me who voices an opinion on everything, embarrassing or not. “Jean, I’m not eating any cupcakes no matter how cute they’ve named them. I used to make the same thing at home with extra sprinkles for you and your brother for a fraction of the cost.”

We approached the author who thinks people are too stressed even though their lives are 99.9% better than other people in the world. Just as she was explaining why she thinks Scottsdale is an amusing topic for a series of satires, a woman from the next table came over to ask if we were interested in botox injections.

“Here? Now?” I asked with incredulity. “Of course,” she chirped. “We can inject you right after you finish your cupcake!” Now I’m a great multi-tasker but botox with a cupcake? “Uhh, I like moving everything on my face,” I responded, sporting a grimace, raising my eyebrows and doing my famous Elvis curled-lip. “Jean, stop that. It might stay that way,” my mother offered.

Only in Scottsdale can you eat a sweet treat and freeze those stress lines around your mouth. It’s so accepted here I expect my dry cleaner to have botox set up next time I drop off Maury’s pants. Or the library. Lots of people drop into the library. They could do it between the fiction and thriller sections.

Liposuction Reaches New Heights

So along with our vanity obsession in Scottsdale we are now the capital of  a new type of plastic surgery called Vaser-assisted liposculpture. Nicknamed the “instant six-pack” this procedure uses the “patient’s own fat to create curvy silhouettes and “rock hard abs.” Now I’m all for looking good but a procedure that takes 4 1/2 hours and costs up to $12,000 with complications? Uh, I think I’ll pass. I’d rather subscribe to Marge Ponders theory of Fabulous Flab and hang and ooze a little over the top of my pants than emulsify, liquefy and suck out my fat. Maury is just going to have to take me the way I am.

3 Responses to “Scottsdale Cupcakes with Botox and Extreme Liposuction”

  1. Linda Says:

    Only in Scottsdale Jean! You sure do find the odd and unusual in your Scottsdale outings! No wonder you’re stressed!

  2. Brenda elsagher Says:

    That is hysterical! Cupcakes and botox…next we’ll be getting our oil changed and manicures at the same time. That is taking multitasking all the way. Soon our conversations will sound like this..”Honey, I’m going to stop by and pick up a great book, get some treats and oh…I’ll be refreshed when I come back. Why don’t you get an oil change and mani/pedi while I’m gone?”
    funny blog!

  3. Jean Rubin Says:

    Thank you for seeing the humor in the bizarre world of Scottsdale!

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