Stressed Out Weight Gain

As if I don’t have enough anxiety swirling around me, my glamorous friend, April, calls to inform me that she read a study that says people who are stressed gain weight.

“I’m worried about you, Jean. You under too much pressure and you worry all the time. You could gain ten pounds like that!” I hear the crisp snap of her manicured fingers.

“Honey, I appreciate your concern, but I’m just dealing with life. Your husband’s gone all day. Mine hangs around looking in the refrigerator. Your mother lives in Topeka. Mine’s a few miles away and complains a lot. Your kids are employed. Mine are . . .well, you know that situation.”

“Don’t think because I appear relaxed and well-groomed all the time, I don’t have problems. Sometimes I’m very stressed in Paradise Valley.”

“About what?”

“I worry about you. This Harvard study said people eat more because it calms them. I’ve watched what happens to you around chocolate. They suggest talking to a friend and I wanted you to know I’m always here for you.”

“April, I’m fine. A call from you about my stress makes me more stressed.”

‘Honey, I just don’t want you to gain weight. It’s so hard to lose. I know how you rush around and take on so many commitments.”

“Well, I appreciate your concern, but I think you have to find something else to worry about. I’m going to finish Indian curry left-overs and garlic mashed potatoes for lunch.”

Airline Food Curbs the Appetite

My friend is worried I’ll gain weight from over-eating while I’m stressed out. I have a solution! Anyone who’s worried about weight gain has to fly somewhere. That way they can view the food served and lose their appetite.

The Food and Drug Administration inspectors have cited airline food for sanitation violations. Now airline food is usually unappealing, but now that I know the kitchens they were prepared in have roaches, flies and mice, I will avoid the peanuts in the sealed packages.

In fact, the visual of mystery meat with vermin dancing on the top just  might be the image to conjure up when I see a great dessert. Who knew airline food was a diet technique?

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