Stress Follows Us Everywhere

7:00 am

Neighbor Anxiety

Even though I’m officially on vacation I wanted to share with you that some people are always working. Like my friend, April, who doesn’t have a job. Her business is everyone else. Ever since she thinks she solved a murder in her neighborhood of a mouthy gossip columnist years ago, she’s looking for crime.

“Jean, guess what? I think there’s a drop house in my neighborhood!”

April lives in Paradise Valley which is adjacent to Scottsdale and has the highest per capita income of any zip code, so the idea that someone’s mansion is harboring people who have come into Arizona through non-traditional channels fascinates me.

“How do you know?”

“Because I never see anyone and there’s a van with tinted windows in the driveway.”


“No one in Paradise Valley drives an unmarked van. Unless their a drug dealer. or a human smuggler.”

“Do you mean to tell me there’s no vans? Don’t some parents drive their kids to school in a van?”

“Of course not. We have vans here with” Home Delivery Dry Cleaning” painted on the side or “Catering by Monique.” Parents drive their kids in SUVs and Mercedes station wagons.”

“April, that’s ridiculous. There are drop houses packed with people brought across the border by mules in the Phoenix area. Why would they pick your neighborhood?”

“Because the homes are bigger and they can fit more people inside! And they found Russian spies in nice neighborhoods.”

Okay, she’s got a point, but we have such a highly charged border issue here, I don’t think April should get involved. I tell her so.

Her response? “I’m going to find out who’s living there and when I do . . .”

“Have you ever thought about minding your own business?”

3 Responses to “Stress Follows Us Everywhere”

  1. Linda Denham Says:

    My momma has April’s imagination. Momma thought that one of the “Red Hat” ladies was blind because she sat at the end of the table and did not speak to her. I told momma that maybe the woman just didn’t like her. Big mistake.

  2. TR Hughes Says:

    Let’s hope that her [April] imagination is running wild. Perhaps she could take over a flyer looking for a an imaginary lost pet or something and get a sneak peek to satisfy her curiosity. Perhaps she will be intrigued by something new tomorrow.

  3. Jean Rubin Says:

    TR–Everybody’s business is April’s business. She is currently sitting near her front picture window with binoculars and is dressed and ready to go outside with the yippy dogs if she sees anything important. Like people getting out of the van hunched over and running inside. Or what she thinks a drug dealer looks like–wrap-around sunglasses, tight jeans and gold chains. She takes being a yenta very seriously.

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