Are You Relaxed after a Vacation?

Maury took me for a little getaway. Nothing fancy. Just cooler weather and a hotel room with clean floral  bedspreads.Vacations are supposed to assist you with breaking your routine, forgetting about technology and lowering your stress…except if your electronics come with you, your husband still watches the invasion of Normandy on the History Channel and talks about the golf game he’s playing tomorrow, the one he played today and the ones he hopes to play in the future.

My cell phone still rang, I checked email frequently and read texts from my kids, who let me know I was missed by  harassing me. So I decided to tame my information appetite by following advice from a Swiss neuroscientist with the unlikely name of Torkel Klingberg. Someone with that name has to evolve into someone scholarly because no one would take him seriously otherwise. The title of his book sounded like it was written for me: The Overflowing Brain: Information Overload and the Limits of Working Memory.

Torkel’s solutions are activities that demand concentration like watching sequential episodes of “The Bachlorette” and trying to figure out if Ali slept with Chris after her hot night with Roberto or playing chess, which is not in the realm of possibilities for me in this lifetime. My favorite, though, was a suggestion of “controlled multitasking,” which does not mean explaining to your mother why she is not coming with you on vacation while you’re packing your suitcase and putting an extra coat of polish on your toe nails.

It means they want you to draw a triangle with one hand while you make a square with the other and trace a circle with your foot. Are they kidding? These guys have way too much grant money and too few ideas. If they want multitasking, they need to come to my house.

Local Talent

My extravagant friend, Glee, who reinvents herself frequently and is now marketing herself as a Life Coach specializing in stress reduction for those with “information-fatigue syndrome,” invited me to a networking event for environmental fashionistas.

I had no clue what that meant but I wore cotton instead of synthetics and “dressed Scottsdale” per Glee’s instructions. That means cute shoes (no Birkenstocks), fashionable looking accessories and make up, that’s been applied with more aplomb than when Tangie, my four-year-old granddaughter, paints me up. Unfortunately, it melted onto my neck in this heat.

Local Talent, a fashion emporium for local designers and artists, was hosting the event for author, Marcia Fine. Glee said, “That woman is writing about me in her Scottsdale satirical series.” With thoughtfulness she added, “I know she’s making fun of me, but any publicity is better than none, especially if its from some half-baked author who hasn’t attended any of my seminars for “Stress and the Modern Woman: Find Your Inner Core by Eating a Gala Apple a Day.”

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