Fashionista Musings

The world is in serious shape and sometimes my frustration at not being able to do anything about it drives me crazy. It’s enough that there’s war, famine and natural disasters assaulting my senses daily, so I need a diversion. It only takes a little to put me over the edge–like the fact that half of  the legislators in our controversial state don’t believe in global warming–so sometimes I have to escape into Glee’s world.

Glee is back from her glamping trip–everything was first class–and she is focused on Fall fashion. Please let me remind you in case you haven’t left your house in weeks or you’re still hanging out in San Diego like April, it’s monsoon season here.

That means high temperatures embalmed in storms with excessive humidity. Just my kind of weather. I can barely lift my arms and legs because they’re stuck to the leather sofa. You can imagine my avid interest when Glee called to give me the latest fashion report.

“Jean, you have to come to a Fall preview with me. They’re showing fur, feathers and pantsuits! You’ll just love it! remember the matching quail feather boas we bought years ago? Well, we can wear them now!”

“Glee, I’m permanently stuck on my sofa and can’t imagine putting feathers around my chicken neck. That was for a costume not to wear in public. Besides, I don’t wear fur and if I’m understanding you, the newest trend will make me look like Hilary Clinton’s bad step-sister. Pantsuits? Are you sure that’s right?”

“For Heaven’s sake, you have to keep up. You can’t wear Birkenstocks and hippie skirts forever.”

“Why not? Even my mother has stopped criticizing me. Well, not completely. Anyway, pantsuits sound hot.”

“Well, I thought you wanted to keep up after your spa make-over but I can see you are rejecting my fashion advice.”

“No, I love you and your advice. I’m too stressed in Scottsdale to follow it. But, I promise, the first person I see in Trader Joe’s wearing a boa, I’ll run right home and put on mine.

“These aren’t the old pantsuits. This is an updated look with tuxedo jackets and a satin stripe down the side of the leg.”

“Glee, if I don’t look ridiculous enough, you want me to dress like a waiter spitting feathers?”

“Well, I’m just trying to help.”

An Environmental No-No

As lackadaisical as I am about the latest fashion trends, one piece of news did strike me as important. Parsons New School of Design (of “Project Runway” fame) is going to be the first school to be offering a course in zero waste. It seems a lot of fabric scraps are wasted making a garment. I can hear Tim Gunn saying now, “We’re going to Mood Fabrics and use the accessory wall wisely.”

So what garment creates the most waste? Jeans! A wardrobe staple for baby boomers and young people everywhere. Jeans are cited as the most wasteful and high polluting of all garments made not only because of the left over fabric but dyes, extra washings, energy, packaging and gallons of water used by consumers.

Students will learn how to use fibers that haven’t been hit with pesticides or fertilizers and make jeans with fewer pockets. American Apparel is making underwear from scraps. Denim underwear? Uh, I’m already itchy and  sweating.



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