Tired from Stress in Scottsdale?

There’s a new syndrome invading the posh clubs, spas and expansive living rooms in Scottsdale and its environs. It’s effecting many women who give their all to their families and communities. It’s Stress Fatigue Syndrome and I’ve had it for years even if I didn’t know it. I admit  I get exhausted from feeding the troops, taking my mother to her podiatrist appointments, working on Maury’s political campaigns (ever since the eco-twit incident I’m not taking any chances with my slightly paunchy, myopic, ADD man) and working at my consulting business. There are forces at work who want to catapult us back to the 1950s and aprons.

Trust me, I am not going there!  April is convinced I have adrenal fatigue syndrome, a quack diagnosis that Maury says was made up to tell women they’re doing too much. When she described the symptoms it sounded like every woman I know–tired and a bit overwhelmed with a dose of malaise and weight gain. Hey, we have to blame it on something besides The Cheesecake Factory!

Even though the disorder is not recognized by endocrinologists or Dr. Andrew Weil, the guru of natural health, April says it has merit. She reads everything in Reader’s Digest and Prevention magazines as well as watches TV reality shows, a great resource for inaccurate information.

“Jean, I know what’s wrong with you.” I love it when my friends make a diagnosis.

“Really? What is it and how do you know?”

“Because I researched it on Wikipedia after I read an article at my salon–did I mention I’m adding more highlights to increase depth to the color?– and it says that modern life is so stressful, especially yours, that your walnut-sized adrenal glands that are supposed to help you cope with stress, are all petered out.”

“April, not everything you read online is true. And I’m not the only thing that’s petered out around here.”

“Well, I know you and I think you’re overboard. Didn’t you tell me you’ve been getting lightheaded and you’re having trouble keeping up?”

“Well, yes, but no one can keep up with my schedule. I’m going for the Scottsdale Multitasker of the Year Award.   Besides,those symptoms are pretty vague. I have a lot to do with my aging mother, Maury’s political proclivities and my kids’ demands. Rivka wants a belly cast, Michael’s still unemployed and Lara has decided to take a vegan cooking course so she can start a restaurant that only serves beans. Don’t you ever feel overwhelmed sometimes?

“No, never. Unless of course I’m going to be late for my nail appointment and the dogs have to be walked. I try to only do one thing a day.” She gasps for a moment and I can tell she’s eating one of her energy bars. She also only eats one meal a day too. Promise me you’ll get your saliva and blood tested for Stress Fatigue Syndrome. I just know you have it.”

April loves to be right ever since she figured out who murdered The Mouth.

“Did I tell you the people I suspect of having a drop house in my neighborhood are putting up a wall around their property? I know they must be doing something illegal!”

I’m relieved she’s off diagnosing me. “How do you know?”

“Because  they drive Mercedes with tinted windows.”

“Everyone in your neighborhood drives Mercedes or another luxury vehicle with tinted windows.”

“Yes, that’s true, but the new neighbors are the only ones with gold wheel covers.”

One Response to “Stress Fatigue Syndrome for the Undiagnosed Multitasker”

  1. Tony Says:

    Stress AND fatigue in the one Syndrome. Time to move to Australia (us New Zealanders just heard we’re working longer than the Ozzies)

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