What Happened to a Ball and Jacks?

The days of  playing with a refrigerator box are long over. I don’t know how but as kids we entertained ourselves for hours with palm fronds, used balls and spraying each other with a hose. A puzzle with missing pieces, your mom’s old clothes and a ball and jacks took up hours of empty days. Today kid’s request for toys have become more sophisticated. They market to the kids who can plead with their parents who then can nag the grandparents.

I admit to being coerced into an American Girl doll with wardrobe accessories that cost more than my Birkenstocks for little Tangerine, but the newest rage has me digging my heels in for a “No!”  They’re not expensive but do we really want our children to be playing with the inhabitants of Monster High?

Folks, the Barbie Days are dead! No more complaining about her wasp-thin waist and other unrealistic body parts. We’ve got Franki Stein with facial stitches just like her dad and a Scottsdale-sized shopping addiction, Draculaura, a vegan who faints when she sniffs blood and Clawdeen Wolf, daughter of Were who has the challenge of plucking and shaving her fast-growing hair. I cannot make this up!

Better yet, there’s accessories that include an electronic fearbook, an icoffin phone and a terrifying tattoo roller! Not only are there dolls but there are also  matching trashy outfits for little girls who play with them. They can commit mayhem on Barbie. I hope the mommas and the poppas wake up and the little ones don’t have nightmares!

The Newest New Craze That Glee Loves!

I expect Glee to try everything and follow every new trend. What I don’t expect are the details of how each new thing effects her life. Oxytocin, “the hormone of love,” is improving her social skills.

“Jean, you have to try it! It makes you sweet and friendly. I’ve met four men and made two new girlfriends since I’ve been on it. Not as good a friend as you though.”

“Why would I want to be sweet and friendly? I like my irascible, cranky personality. People leave me alone.”

“It acts on many areas of the brain including the amygdala so it enhances empathy, safety and comfort.”

“I’m already all of those things.”

“You’d be more agreeable.”

That is something to consider since my mother has decided to call me all day long to make sure I’m watching CNN. Our governor has her petrified there will be beheading in the lobby of Friendly Arms. How would she tell? “So how do I get this oxytocin?”

“You already have it but you can get more as a nasal spray or a shot.”

“You’re kidding me. You’re taking shots to be friendly?”

“Well, Maury will appreciate because it’ll make you hot.”

“Glee, stay out of my bedroom!”



One Response to “Even the Dolls Are Getting Scary and the Big O!”

  1. Irvin Parlor Says:

    Nice article. Intriguing subject and approach. I will be coming back some time in the near future.

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