‘Tini Trend

My friends, Glee and April, decided to have a holiday party together. Glee, of course, celebrates everything and April is a cafeteria Catholic with a Jewish spouse so she’s not sure what’s up. It doesn’t matter. Whatever holiday you have in mind, she can shop for it. And every occasion requires some form of jewelry. Just like every party has a gimmick.

The event was a Potini Party. “What’s that,” you ask? It’s where you serve mashed potatoes in a martini glass and then have all kinds of toppings for them like sour cream, butter, chives, bacon bits and shredded cheeses.

Maury: Why the hell am I eating potatoes in a martini glass?”

Me: Sssh! Someone will hear you.

Maury: Is this some kind of nonsense trend that’s supposed to fill me up? Every time I dig my fork in some of the sour cream dribbles down the outside.

Me: Maury! The girls worked very hard on this.

Maury: Is the rest of the dinner in martini glasses too? Because if it is–”

Me: As a matter of fact, there’s a main-tini with cous cous and toppings, a seafood ‘tini with shrimp and a desser-tini with chopped chocolate bars.

Maury: Who makes this stuff up? What happened to a nice piece of meat on a plate with a fork and knife?

Me: Stop being a curmudgeon and eat your dinner.

Nostalgia Drinking

As if Baby Boomers didn’t miss their youth enough, two high school friends who reunited on Facebook, have started a company that serves up Adult Chocolate Milk. That’s a mixture of your favorite childhood drink with 40 proof vodka in a fancy bottle that sells for $18-23.

Why do we need this you ask? Because we’re stressed!

Where can you buy it? At every hip club in Scottsdale and Bev-Mo.

How has this become a trend so fast? Because every mother started doing it when the kids wouldn’t go to bed.

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