Girlfriend Weekend in Texas

Glee convinced me I should accompany her and April for a Book Club girls weekend in Jefferson Texas. “C’mon, Jean, You know you’ve been working a novel for years.” Of course I didn’t want to go because she’s dragged me into so many weird situations. Ill probably never recover from the nudist camp. But that’s another story. She promised me a girlfriends adventure extraordinaire and it was.

We flew to Shreveport, Louisiana and rented a car to drive to our destination. Glee rented the fanciest car she could find—a Toyota Camry that sounded like an airline motor with a large crow caught in it. She was the driver, I was the navigator (no GPS) and April curled up in her full length mink coat in the back seat for a nap. I had a carry-on but the girls brought their wardrobe so besides a full trunk part of the back seat was stacked with Louie Vuitton.

Of course I got us lost on Texas back roads where we had to ask directions from: a pig farmer in overalls with a few teeth missing, a gas station attendant who never took her ear plugs out and had two of her friends sitting on crates behind the counter and a Pakistani motel owner who promised me his rooms were clean.

Eventually we arrived at our destination and the cutest pre-Civil War Bed and Breakfast. The owner asked, “How long are y’all staying?” as he schlepped all our luggage up to a suite of rooms.

Girlfriends Weekend is the brainchild of Kathy Patrick, the most exhuberant, literature loving woman I’ve ever met. She also owns the only beauty salon/book store in America. Over four hundred book groups belong to her Pulpwood Queens book club.  She gives them reading suggestions every month, exposes them to the best writers and becomes their best girlfriend. It’s all about tiaras, glitz and leopard outfits.  Glee and April fit right in with the queens from Palestine, Texas, Eureka, Kansas and the Book Sluts of Louisiana. April was a huge hit in her Blackglama and leopard sunglasses. These women like to read!

The best authors showed up, the ladies wore matching outfits, authors served us bar-b-q, we drank wine out of a box and attended a Hair Ball where book groups came as their favorite character. We weren’t clear on this part so we showed up as ourselves and people complicated us on our costumes.

My favorites were the ladies who showed up as sorority sisters from The Help with their old pins and page boys, the Frida Kahlos (when you see eigfht women with unibrows and crepe paper flowers on top of their head there’s no doubt), and the Alice in Wonderland Tea Party led by book cheerleader with a fully decorated and lit table. The winners, however, were the group who read Kathy Patrick’s book, Pulpwood Queens, etc. dressed as the Queen herself—leopard caftans, matching orage wigs and pink feather boas.

This is Girlfriendom over the top!

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