Dating in Cyberspace?

5:03 pm

Are You Interested in Online Dating? This topic never interested me since I have been married to Maury since I was a child.

It always struck me as odd to find someone you met online and fall in love. Wasn’t it not too long ago that they were warning us about people not being who they really are online? Even my mother weighed in on the issue.

“Jean, what’s wrong with these people going out on dates with people they meet on their computer? They could be purse-snatchers or muggers.”

“Mom, purse-snatchers go to shopping malls. They’re not looking online.”

The buzz about online dating begins with pressure being taken off of meeting someone face-to-face. You can actually control your first impression! Don’t like what they said? Easy. Delete. If only I could have done this in real life during my dating years, it would have saved me from some really bad blind dates, including the guy who abandoned me in his car while he searched for water to give a dog tied up outside a restaurant and showed up thirty minutes later. Or the one who took me to see his cadaver at the medical school. And my mother thought he’d be such a good catch because he was a doctor!

I am beginning to think that online dating might work. The new trend is about how you can go on virtual dates! The guy can take you to a virtual coffee shop or bowling alley and you chat with each other during the date. I’m a terrible bowler so he wouldn’t be impressed with my skills.

If the guy doesn’t want to fork out a few dollars to spend wining and dining in Scottsdale maybe virtual dating might work. Virtual dates also mean that women don’t have to worry about the hours of work it takes to get ready before a big night out.

I happen to notice that Glee is always checking her emails with her new fancy smart phone. So I asked her about it.

“Glee, are you dating someone online?”

“What? Of course not! Well, actually, I’m dating a few people.”

“Are you serious? How does that work?”

“They pick me up like a regular date only we’re online at the same time. They pick exotic locations, wonderful restaurants and unique methods of transportation.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“No, last week I went with Fabio on a romantic gondola ride in Virtual Venice. Then Pierre and I had a virtual dinner at the top of the Virtual Eiffel Tower. Next week I’m meeting Alexander for virtual snorkeling in the Virtual Greek Islands. I have a fabulous bathing suit picked out.”

“But, Glee, you’re not even going to get it wet!”

“Of course not. It costs $200 and has fake gold coins all over the bodice. They’d rust if I wore it in the water.”

“That’s right, I forgot. Cougars don’t like to get wet.”

If that’s how dates transpire then maybe it can be love at first sight. I’ll be lucky if I can get Maury away from the golf channel to go out for pizza!

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