After a long day of babysitting for Lara while SHE and Gus lounged at Lamar Day Spa, I sat down to relax. If you call preparing a proposal for a client relaxing. I was in pure bliss developing “Equity in the Workplace” when the phone rang.

Glee. Caller ID is a technology advance I enjoy. If I can see the screen without my glasses. What’s one more interruption?

“Jean! Jean! Guess who’s coming to town?”

“Don’t tell me–the circus? The latest hair removal machine? Joe, the plumber? The kids made the downstairs toilet overflow.”

“Don’t be so sarcastic! This is perfect for you.”

Uh-oh. When Glee transforms one of her schemes into something that involves me, I run. Especially since she trapped me at a nudist colony. But that’s another story. “Okay, let’s have it. What is it?”

I hear Glee gasp a loud breathe. “Bravo’s Real Housewives is coming to Scottsdale!”

It’s embarrassing to admit I have seen a few episodes of the Orange County season. They were mostly botox parties and spray tans. One trip to AJ’s and I can see it live. It really is sexist. No one’s a housewife anymore. We’re Domestic Engineers and work all day long. Except in Scottsdale. I feign mild excitement.“Really?!”

“Yes! It’s a spin off. I can’t believe they didn’t ask me to be a part of the show! I’m so Scottsdale!

Glee would be perfect for this show and so would April. Glee is outgoing enough, and April, well she already looks the part. As long as I don’t get dragged into it. “What does this have to do with me?”

“It’s not confirmed but so far Steve Nash’s ex, Alejandra Nash, and Dan Majerle’s ex, Tina Dwyer, have signed for the show.”

“Wait, how are they housewives if they aren’t even married? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the show?”

“That’s beside the point. Anyway, they are supposedly filming at the Drybar at Scottsdale Quarter. Let’s go and be on TV!”

“Glee, you’re kidding me. I don’t have time for nonsense. My cell phone and calendar aren’t syncing and I’ve double-booked appointments. I’m stressed from going back to a paper calendar. Those parties are VIP anyway. No way we could get in.”

“Yes, we will. Brad, my new boyfriend–and don’t say a word–his name sounds young but I’m actually only fifteen years older than him–knows a guy who knows the owner’s brother. Dress Scottsdale. Got to go, I have to call April to tell her the news!”

5 Responses to “The Real Housewives of Scottsdale”

  1. Elizabeth Young Says:

    Totally hillarious Jean, I needed a good laugh!

  2. Isabelle Gregson Says:

    So… how was it? xx

  3. Jean Rubin Says:

    It’s an experience going anywhere with Glee and April. I’m like the frumpy step-sister. There was a long line of pouf-lipped, breast-enhanced, spike-heeled women waiting in a line. Glee talked us inside where there were gold-chained producers with extra hair follicles interviewing women. Great blog fodder! And then I peeled off and waited for them at True Food, Andrew Weil’s trendy health restaurant. I love irony!

  4. MumuGB Says:

    Glad you survived! How was the new boyfriend Brad? Picture please!!! Thanks for a good laugh…

  5. Jean Rubin Says:

    I haven’t met Brad yet so no pix yet. Glee will fold him into our group just when Maury wakes up and wants to know why there’s a kid at dinner in an adult restaurant. My regret is I didn’t think of the “Housewives” franchise first. I know where there are many culture vulture fashion victims congregating in every city! The gym!

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