As I was enjoying my fantasy of dessert at The Cheesecake Factory, Glee called with some unpleasant news. It seems with all these health and diet crazes, The Cheesecake Factory is going to be listing the calorie amounts of certain dishes on its menu.On the menu? Where everyone can see it? Honestly, that’s mean.
“Jean, every morsel of guilty pleasure of their Godiva Cheesecake adds an inch to your thighs and makes your belly jelly,” says Glee in her dogmatic fashion.
“I don’t care. Sometimes I need comfort food. Didn’t you read what Gail Sheehy said about middle-aged women? The majority are under high stress and 40 to 70 percent are in a depression.. “This midlife turnaround inspires hope or the study itself.”)
“Listen, they did a 3 year study and we’re over the edge with taking care of everyone–kids, aging parents, ADHD husbands, jobs, menopause. My lists have lists.” As I tell her this my mother is calling me on my cell phone even though I’ve asked her to use my land line and leave a message. It buzzes incessantly in my shorts pocket.
“The menu is going to be called “SkinnyLicious.”
Is that supposed to be cute? Apparently it will offer dishes that are half the portion size. You can order your (NAME HER FAV–has to have choc!) and save calories!
I don’t like this idea at all! When treat myself I want to relax, not worry about how many calories I consume with every bite. I watch my weight, but a girl’s gotta have some fun once in a while! My mother calls again on my cell.
“Glee, middle-aged women are struggling with the recession, no time to exercise, chronic health problems and depression. They’re gaining weight and you’re telling me to eat cheesecake?!”
“And you think cheesecake will make them feel better?”
“Hold on. Have to listen to my mother’s message.”
“Hello Jean? This is your mother. I have a coupon for the Cheesecake Factory, When can you take me?”
I repeat her message to Glee. ”You’d better hurry. The menu’s only until Septenber.”